I love you..

 

You're my inspiration, my guardian angel. Everything creative that I do, there's a piece of you in it. You're still in my heart, you're always with me. It's almost been twelve years since you've been gone. If you were still here, I'd be celebrating with you. We'd have an awesome party. Twenty-four's pretty old. If you were still here, mom would probably comment on how old she felt, because her first child is twenty-four. Then again, she was only 16 when she had you.

Don't be mad, but tomorrow I have to try my hardest not to think of you. It's not your fault, it's his. Because of him, I have to forget about you on your birthday. The simple thought of how old you WOULD HAVE been, what you WOULD HAVE looked like, or WOULD BE doing drives me insane because it's not how old you are, what you do look like, and what you are doing. It's ridiculous, simply ridiculous.

This isn't about him though, and I won't let it be about him. This is about you.

 

I love you, Andi. I love you so much. I miss you, your laugh, your grin, your personality, everything.

Happy birthday.

This One's A Bummer.

Well, I finally post again, and it's a mildly depressing post.

I've been thinking about a lot lately.

I miss Melanie and my nephew. I really wish they wouldn't have moved. I know it was for the best, though, and that she's happy, and can be with Dex more. I'll get to spend two weeks with her this summer. Hopefully that will help a lot.

I miss Andi. Everyone always says it's impossible, that I was too young to even remember her. I remember doing a lot with her. I remember her face, how much she loved me, the way she would roll her eyes at Mel and then her nose would be wrinkled due to the smile on her face I had caused. I remember how Mel and her would always give each other a hard time, but you could still feel that they loved each other very much. I remember Andi pushing me on the swings, and driving the dogs and me around on the lawn mower. I remember my sister. I remember her, and I miss her.

I love her so much. Why did something like this happen to her, of all people? I know it's morbid to say, but sometimes I think about what she went through. I think about how scared she must have been. It makes me sick that she had to go through that at only twelve years old.

It's not right.
It's not fair.

A Few Things I Need To Get Off My Chest..

Puppy Rats and Toilet Fish. AKA: A Normal Day

Well, this is my first blog. My mom and sister suggested that I write one. I agree, I think the random things that happen in my life should be documented. Let's start at the beginning.

My sister flew down from Syracuse to visit, and brought my nephew Dexter. It's been wonderful having her. I have missed her dearly. The day before she got here my goldfish, Resbucia, went belly up. My smaller goldfish, Charlie had pushed a rock that was inside their tank on top of him. Yes, I said him. Resbucia was a boy. I bought Charlie a new fish bowl the day my sister got here so that Charlie wouldn't be in a huge tank all by herself. (Also, because I've been bugging my mom to buy me a veiled chameleon.) I also bought Charlie a dinosaur decoration and a Hot Wheels DeLorean so she wouldn't feel lonely.

This morning, before going to dinner with my family at a Chinese buffet (We'll get to that part later,)  I noticed Charlie was just floating at the top of her bowl. I must just be a terrible fish mother. I scooped her lifeless body out of the bowl with my fish net and walked to the bathroom. I said a few parting words and recited the Jewish prayer of the dead. I'm not Jewish, but it seemed appropriate. As soon as I flopped her body into the toilet, she swam down the pipes. I couldn't believe my eyes. I had just been Nemo'd. She wasn't dead after all. I called for my sister, and we stared at the toilet for a good five minutes.

Then my sister had an idea.

"Go get some food, and maybe she'll swim up to eat it!"

I thought this was a great idea! So I did exactly that. We watched the fish food float in the water for several minutes. Finally, we just gave up. I gave in, and flushed the toilet.

Charlie,
You were a great fish. I enjoyed watching you for the five months I had you. I'm so sorry I did this to you. I was under the impression that you were dead.
If you ever come back, I'll give you clean water everyday.

After the fish epidemic, we went to dinner. It was a lovely dinner at a place I'd rather not disclose. Hint: It rhymes with Whoriental Whirl. The little waitress loved my nephew. "Oh, he so cute! He so cute!" she would comment. He wasn't too sure about her.

I excused myself to use the restroom after everyone had finished, and we were about to leave. I went into a stall and out of habit, looked under into the next stall. I was stunned, I saw a puppy.

"Here puppy,puppy!" I called. I wanted to save it. Why would anyone leave a puppy in an Oriental restaurant bathroom? Don't make the joke, people. I know, I know, I thought the same thing.

The puppy moved, looked at me with big beady eyes. It hissed, and showed it's long front teeth.

Holy Hell, it was a rat. A rat big enough to convince me it was a puppy.

I didn't want to cause commotion, so I just left with my family. Of course, they freaked out when I told them, and gagged. It was quite a funny sight. We decided to call my grandmother and tell her, since she was there. We told her and the line went silent. We asked her if she was there and all she could say was. "Yeah."

So that's my day. Sadly, it was pretty normal.