You're my inspiration, my guardian angel. Everything creative that I do, there's a piece of you in it. You're still in my heart, you're always with me. It's almost been twelve years since you've been gone. If you were still here, I'd be celebrating with you. We'd have an awesome party. Twenty-four's pretty old. If you were still here, mom would probably comment on how old she felt, because her first child is twenty-four. Then again, she was only 16 when she had you.
Don't be mad, but tomorrow I have to try my hardest not to think of you. It's not your fault, it's his. Because of him, I have to forget about you on your birthday. The simple thought of how old you WOULD HAVE been, what you WOULD HAVE looked like, or WOULD BE doing drives me insane because it's not how old you are, what you do look like, and what you are doing. It's ridiculous, simply ridiculous.
This isn't about him though, and I won't let it be about him. This is about you.
I love you, Andi. I love you so much. I miss you, your laugh, your grin, your personality, everything.
Happy birthday.
I have no words.
ReplyDeleteTears and memory smiles.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Kristin. I guess we can find comfort in knowing that at least now Andi can spend her birthdays with Grandma. She will tell her stories about what she was doing at the age 24 and they will share so many laughs. I miss them both, but they are having a blast up there. You're right, it's not about "him". He will most likely be in Hell during and after life. We get to be free and be with our loved ones during and after life. Celebrate the legacy Andi has left, and know we will see her agian with some great stories of our own.
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