My Thoughts During My Sister's Avon Interview.

Anything in "quotes" is what the Avon Lady is saying.
Anything in bold is what my sister's saying.
Anything in italics is what I'm THINKING.

I'm totally quiet during this.

"Hiiii, I'm Martha, great to meet ya!"
Awh, yeah , of course. Classic New York accent.


"..It would be really good to bring these booklets to church. Have you found a church yet?"
C'mon, Mel, make a joke...
No, we've gone a few times, but haven't found one we like yet.
"Oh, okay."
Jeez, Lady, what if we were Buddhist?




"Or any other organizations you go to..."
Oh yeah, the white supremacy nazi anti-gay-black-mexican-asian-jew meeting would LOVE to buy Avon moisturizer. The burning crosses is causing their bald heads to get so dry! 


Dexter crawls in..
"Oh, he's a cutey!!"
He's scared of you. That's why he came running to me.


"I have eight grandchildren! All boys!"
Poor woman. Maybe Avon does work, she doesn't look like she's 500 years old.




"Oh yeah! I love Sarah Palin!"
Oh, shit. Don't make me do the impression..


"So, how old are you again?"
I'm 22.
She's 13, with a kid, and married to a 33 year old. She's also an illegal alien from Mexico, and is running from the cops.


"Well, it was great to meet you!"
Oh, lord.. She's probably talking crap about Mel in her head.


"Oh what a lovely walkway!"
Really? That's what you're going to compliment my sister on? The walkway? Not her hair? Her eyes? Maybe the bow? Yeah, no, just no.