To Karl Roberts:

I needed to get somethings off my chest, so here it is, for those who want to read it.

    I am not going to start this out with a friendly greeting. The last things you deserve are my kind words, my warm hospitality, and my friendly smile. Normally, I would never be rude to someone who didn't know me, but by the end of this, you'll know me a hell of a lot better. While you're still questioning who I am, I know who you are, or should I say were. You were Karl Roberts. I only say were because scums like you don't deserve names. You are a murderer. You are a rapist, and who knows what else. 

    That's enough about you. You already know that. My name is Kristin DeMauro. My mother is Rebecca, or Becki Petty as you might know her. But that's something you should already know. This next part is what you don't. I was born on May 15, 1995. I was welcomed home by my two older sisters, Andi and Mel. Exactly four years after that, on my fourth birthday, you murdered Andi. That's what you didn't know. What you did was on my birthday. You murdered my sister on my birthday. How do you think that makes me feel? Every birthday I have to deal with people mourning. I am forced to be sad.

     I always wonder what my oldest sister would be doing today. If should would be married, or have kids. What would her kids look like? You took all that possibility away from not only her but the rest of her family. She was a beautiful girl with a wonderful sassy twist. She brought so much joy to me and her family. 

I'm in my junior year of high school now. Next year, I'm graduating. My sister Andi won't get to watch me walk. She won't get to hug me and kiss me on the cheek before she tells me he loves me and is so proud of me. I will never hear my sister tell me she loves me again. 

    By writing this, I am taking back my power. Instead of hurting every time I think of Andi, or think of what you did to her, I can remember her. I can smile and relive warm memories of her smile. I can remember instead of mourn. The time for mourning is done.

    When the judge sentenced you to death he said "God have mercy on your soul." You responded with "He already has." If God has forgiven you, then Hell without you is much better than Heaven with you. God forgives small mistakes. God doesn't forgive decisions that bring pain and suffering to a whole family.You are eternally damned. 

    I'd love to hear what you have to say for yourself, Write back if you want, it still won't change my perspective of you.

    I hope this has given you something to think about. Next time you're about to die, think of how you raped and murdered a 12 year old girl on her  little sister's birthday. Maybe then you won't pussy out and ask for an appeal.

  -Kristin Elizabeth DeMauro

Andi's loving little sister.

                  R.I.P.:

  Andria Nichole Brewer.

April 10, 1987 - May 15, 1999 

I have every intention of mailing this. Nothing you can say is going to stop me.
If he replies, I'll post it.
If this offends you, don't read it.

Thanks.

Aliens....

This weekend has been great! Filled with motorcycle and Corvette rides, and movies galore! One of the movies I watched was Cowboys and Aliens. Surprisingly, it was really good. However, it got me thinking.

Aliens in movies, What?!
Okay, have  you ever noticed how the aliens have technology so advanced beyond Earthly intelligence? They have usually harnessed the power of intergalactic travel, turning light in lasers that can do harm, and so on. They can create HUGE advanced societies, yet..

The "aliens" themselves are usually unintelligent, brutal, cruel, bloodthirsty creatures that don't even have a language. They usually look absolutely nothing like humans, and more like reptiles.
Strange to me.

Anyway, just a small rant. Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!

Warmth.

So I found a few things the other day that made me cry like a baby. This one is too precious not to share.

I was going through all my baby things and found a letter that said "TO: Kitten. 1st Christmas Dec. 1995 from Gma Brake."

I had to read it. On the inside was a yellow piece of lined paper with elegant writing all the way down the page. In the top corner was the date 12_25_1995, written just like that. I read:

"To my Little Kitten:

this is your first Doll from me al-

tho you are just a Baby now: but this

Doll Comes With Love and Kissies & 

Hugs And You don't even Like to 

here your Great Grandma Sing HA HA

I was at the haspital when you

Were Born You were so Little and 

trying to cry to me You Soundly 

Like A Baby Kitten.

so one of these days you can read

this letter and look at you Doll And 

say my Great Grandma Brake gave

this to me:

Whit all my Love to you:

may God be with you all

ways. And Remember Jesus

Loves you too.

XOXO

G,G, mo."

That was word for word, exactly like the letter.

I thought a lot after that. We shouldn't cry over what may have been, but smile and bask in the warm memories of what was. I loved my Bern-Dean, and she loved me to. I know from this letter just how much she loved me.

I've been thinking of Andi, too. 

I'm done sulking and crying. Sure, I will cry sometimes, but that's just because I love my sister. I refuse to let this stupid, selfish man control me. I'm going to help my family fight for justice. I'm following in my mom's footsteps. I'm going to write a letter to Karl Roberts and take my power back. I don't know whether or not I'll send it, I'll just have to let myself make that decision in time.

My Thoughts During My Sister's Avon Interview.

Anything in "quotes" is what the Avon Lady is saying.
Anything in bold is what my sister's saying.
Anything in italics is what I'm THINKING.

I'm totally quiet during this.

"Hiiii, I'm Martha, great to meet ya!"
Awh, yeah , of course. Classic New York accent.


"..It would be really good to bring these booklets to church. Have you found a church yet?"
C'mon, Mel, make a joke...
No, we've gone a few times, but haven't found one we like yet.
"Oh, okay."
Jeez, Lady, what if we were Buddhist?




"Or any other organizations you go to..."
Oh yeah, the white supremacy nazi anti-gay-black-mexican-asian-jew meeting would LOVE to buy Avon moisturizer. The burning crosses is causing their bald heads to get so dry! 


Dexter crawls in..
"Oh, he's a cutey!!"
He's scared of you. That's why he came running to me.


"I have eight grandchildren! All boys!"
Poor woman. Maybe Avon does work, she doesn't look like she's 500 years old.




"Oh yeah! I love Sarah Palin!"
Oh, shit. Don't make me do the impression..


"So, how old are you again?"
I'm 22.
She's 13, with a kid, and married to a 33 year old. She's also an illegal alien from Mexico, and is running from the cops.


"Well, it was great to meet you!"
Oh, lord.. She's probably talking crap about Mel in her head.


"Oh what a lovely walkway!"
Really? That's what you're going to compliment my sister on? The walkway? Not her hair? Her eyes? Maybe the bow? Yeah, no, just no.

I love you..

 

You're my inspiration, my guardian angel. Everything creative that I do, there's a piece of you in it. You're still in my heart, you're always with me. It's almost been twelve years since you've been gone. If you were still here, I'd be celebrating with you. We'd have an awesome party. Twenty-four's pretty old. If you were still here, mom would probably comment on how old she felt, because her first child is twenty-four. Then again, she was only 16 when she had you.

Don't be mad, but tomorrow I have to try my hardest not to think of you. It's not your fault, it's his. Because of him, I have to forget about you on your birthday. The simple thought of how old you WOULD HAVE been, what you WOULD HAVE looked like, or WOULD BE doing drives me insane because it's not how old you are, what you do look like, and what you are doing. It's ridiculous, simply ridiculous.

This isn't about him though, and I won't let it be about him. This is about you.

 

I love you, Andi. I love you so much. I miss you, your laugh, your grin, your personality, everything.

Happy birthday.

This One's A Bummer.

Well, I finally post again, and it's a mildly depressing post.

I've been thinking about a lot lately.

I miss Melanie and my nephew. I really wish they wouldn't have moved. I know it was for the best, though, and that she's happy, and can be with Dex more. I'll get to spend two weeks with her this summer. Hopefully that will help a lot.

I miss Andi. Everyone always says it's impossible, that I was too young to even remember her. I remember doing a lot with her. I remember her face, how much she loved me, the way she would roll her eyes at Mel and then her nose would be wrinkled due to the smile on her face I had caused. I remember how Mel and her would always give each other a hard time, but you could still feel that they loved each other very much. I remember Andi pushing me on the swings, and driving the dogs and me around on the lawn mower. I remember my sister. I remember her, and I miss her.

I love her so much. Why did something like this happen to her, of all people? I know it's morbid to say, but sometimes I think about what she went through. I think about how scared she must have been. It makes me sick that she had to go through that at only twelve years old.

It's not right.
It's not fair.

A Few Things I Need To Get Off My Chest..